Thank you for your kind words.
Still Waters, you are right somewhere inside I know that I can move on and create this peaceful, secure life for myself. And I do believe it is possible there is someone else out there that would be a partner - a partner in happiness, not make me happy - only I can do that.
Pelican, you are so right, it is my loving hands I need to count on.
Did you know when you choose the name Pelican, that the Pelican is a symbol of sacrifice? That a female Pelican will gouge flesh from her own breast to feed her young if there is no other food. Sometimes I think that is what I am trying to do, but not for my children - for my spouse. Not good.
Its only 10 am here, its going to be a long day. Trying not to burst into tears at work. I can make it, one hour at a time.