I have done that so many times too. Came here and thought I was ok. And then still went and got high.
I know I am no better than anyone. Not here or anywhere.
In fact I am finally coming to terms that I am alot like everyone like me.
I am leaving for treatment in and hour and a half.
I am going with 100% honesty to myself and whoever is goign to help me.
No more trying to fool myself or others.
I am taking the armor and masks off.
I have no choice.
I really dont have any advice.
Just dont stop trying and DO something about it. Soemething other than you have been.
Cause whatever it is you have been doing isnt working.
Hang in there.