Hey Firestorm
Alcoholism makes you feel desperately empty. I remember the emptiness all too well. The only thing that could fill the hole was alcohol and my drinking friends. When I was younger, before my alcoholism set in, I was actually quite spiritual. I see that now. I was in contact with my higer power, whatever that was. Then suddenly, out of the blue, I lost contact with that higer power. I can't remember if I had started drinking when it began but I think so. I think touching alcohol was the biggest mistake of my life. However, I'm not regretting it now. I learned a lot!
I've been yearning for spirituality since I started drinking. Alcohol was my "spirit". But it stopped working, made me crazy, ****** me up more than I'd like to admit, I believe.
I stopped drinking, started AA and it's been the best decision I've ever made for myself. I'm not recovered but well on my way, I hope
You don't need to be squandering all your money on drinking buddys anymore. You don't need to fill that hole with alcohol anymore. Stop, go to AA and listen. Give it a chance. I promise, if you give it a fair chance you just might end up sober, happy and truly wealthy!
All the best