I reached a point...I drank enough so that all the self pity and philosophising in the word didn't matter any more....everything else boiled away...I just wanted to live, not die.
I hope you don't need to push the envelope as far as I did...cos some just don't make it, D. That's the real truth here.
I wish you the experience of that second chance I had.
Get some rest, mate.
D