Reread these tonight with clearer eyes. Actually, they're tired eyes and having trouble focusing altogether. Maybe a withdrawal, symptom, I don't know.
I have decided to take some kinds of steps. I talked to a psychologist this morning and she called around to rehabs... I'm going to go on Thursday to sign up. It's a 60-day wait, maybe sooner if people get off the list. I learned there is no publicly funded services in this county, and that was a major issue with trying to find a place that would take me.
Housing, well y'all, finally get to transfer rooms. But it's as scary as hopeful... what if the same thing happens again (it's already been surreal twice... of out two).
And I talked to the housing people about rehab too... in case someone doesn't follow through... which is usually what happens to me lately. I chase them down, they're busy... look, I still have my bitterness!
And I talked to some of my teachers, no real problems there. The first medical note did help (from the flu) and I'll get on to fixing all my school problems... soon as I move and go to the rehab and go to my court class and got to 8 more classes this week. And sleep and eat and stuff... but on these busy days I *normally* don't want to do extra stuff... no choice this week, and lovely, I'm detoxing hard.
Well, that actually was a plus 'cause I'm pale and shaky, and I suppose a few people listened to me that might not have otherwise.
Take care y'all, thank you all for your continued support... I know I'm not doing it very good, but my intent is there... Mens rea...
I still have a hard time accepting that other people had a hard time too... seems like everybody should just up and get sober, because everybody I talked to in real life seemed to do just that. Here, that doesn't seem so common...
And I'll be talking to the dean... either leave of absence, or I'm out of here in the spring. I cannot do this again... another semester like this and I don't know where I'd be. I cannot comprehend any lower, although I know from experience that in a year, I will be living there. That's pretty much been my life for a while now. I don't worry about that, just current stuff for the most part.
Guess this is a little longer than I meant to write, I'm sober but not thinking real clear so I apologize for lack of topical cohesion...
I hope it gets better... I'm afraid to.
If this doesn't work, I don't know what else to do.