I do plan on starting meetings.
Right now my focus is on getting to treatment to get that head start.
Which I have to call again in the morning.
There were no beds available today.
I had posted earlier that I was going to call the hotline and see if I could get rides.
I dont hate NA. I just didnt connest with it. And really it was more of me not wanting to do the work. The going everyday or every other day. It was an inconvenience to me. But no more thinking that BS.
What is the real inconvenience is going through this crap over and over. Destroying everything that took months to build back up in one night. Compared to an hour a day or even every other day or few days. That is nothing compared to the endless BS that is addiction.
I am done making up my own rules on recovery.
It was like I had my own program going on in my mind. You know how us addicts are. We know it all. I dont know **** except my way is def the wrong way.
And if what happens last time I tried to go inpatient, Then I will do any and everything that is offered and that I know I can do.
I really think I need IP. I want IP for many reasons.
But if I cant , I cant. And I am not going to be discouraged by it like last time. I will try IOP again and def do meetings. I will finally give up on doing it my way, on my own.