Welcome and congrats on your recognizing the situation and making a decision. This is a great place to find recovery community and learn from other people's experiences...while sharing our own.
today my daughter's boyfriend asked if I am happier sober...I thought about that...I'm still sort of numb...no, I'm not happier, but I am no longer desperate and exhausted from pinging from one extreme to the other. I feel like I have permission to breathe, to sit, to not have to have an answer, be the life of the party, to not have a clue. Like a huge pressure has been lifted off me. I can be a great big stupid nobody, and it doesn't even matter.
And that, oddly enough, feels good. Like I am taking a huge emotional cr*p
it just feels good