NA questions
Ok, so those of you who know me, know I have fought tooth and nail about this 12 step thing. But at this point I am willing to do anything.
Funny that I ordered the NA text from a book swapping site a couple weeks ago. Maybe the signs were there and I didnt relize it.
But I still believe everything happens for a reason. So maybe something was preparing me for what has happened the past couple days.
I really hate bringing up program thread. Because it seems they get all bent and turn into arguments. PLEASE DONT TURN THIS THREAD INTO THAT!!
I am starting tis thread to get some insight. This is not a debate!
I am wondering how some of you got to where you connected with the steps. I have a hard time with the sirituality of it all. And step 4 has eluded me for a long time. And I dont even want to think about step 9.
I know I need to find a sponsor. But that is also an issue for me. I have a hard time feeling comfortable just calling random people with my BS. And all this drama I hear about in meetings. I hate drama and dont take well to it.
How did you get to where you committed to going to meetings. I ahve always felt it as an inconcnience. A waste of gas. Cause there is only one meeting a week by me. The rest are in the city I get high in. I cant go there!
But mostly I have a hard time letting go of the control freak in me. And swallowing my pride and the whole calling people thing.