Oh yeah-- and I am going to 1 or 2 alanon meetings each week, plus I have been seeing a counselor, though It's not really in the 'budget'. She is good though, so it's usually worth it. I think seeing her planted the first seeds of change in my mind. She made it OK to me to move on, if I wasn't getting what I needed. Al anon is good, though I do wish there were more younger women in the groups that I could relate to. I still relate to a lot of their emotions and all, but it's always nice to have some peers in a group. I also have books and have been doing reading and SR, which has helped greatly.