IMO I think you've hit on it - you feel you still have a hole to fill.
Nothing external can do that Neo - no drink, no drug, no gf is that powerful.
This is the brass tacks of recovery - beyond the drinking/non-drinking bit...
you gotta take a look at your self and your life, and try to work on filling that 'hole in my soul, or whatever it is that i feel' yourself...
Once you do that? Everything else is gravy, man
D