Bucyn-- great post. I see my H in allll of those. I have been so amazed at the extent to which he has lied about so many things. Above all is that if I did not physically see it occur, he can still deny it. Even if there is NO OTHER possible explanation.
And, we cannot possibly plan for bad things that might happen, because there is no PROOF that they will happen, so therefore they won't. Until it does happen, and then I'm sure there's a very 'good' explanation for it, that doesn't involve it being his fault.
It's hard on me.. my mother HATED it when I lied to her. I lied when I was a teenager and wanted to get away with things. If they couldn't prove it then I figured I'd get less of a punishment. I *KNOW* why my AH lies, it's to protect his ability to do what he wants and not suffer any consequences. The thing is.. I grew up. I want to live a mature life. I'm not his mother, and he's constantly telling me to stop 'mothering' him. Well, stop 'babying' yourself.
Thanks for the reminders.