I'd print out nandm's response....
and tape it to the bathroom mirror...
and another one on the fridge....
I had lost everything when I finally got sober.
I had to come to the point that everything ...
and I MEAN everything ...
just had to be in Spirit's hands.
I couldn't do it by myself anymore.
i've learned for the first time
what a waiting list is like
I've learned
the demoralization put upon us by
our own Social Security
when we actually NEED the
benefits they took money out
of every. single. check for....
I know how demeaning it is to not be able to go to a coffee clash
because I'm too broke to buy coffee.
I know everyone at the food bank.
And I know the times I said "WHY am I staying sober for this?"
I understand you can only be kicked so many times when you're already down.
But all these things -
not one of them would have been helped
by my drinking.
Because if I had give up and picked up ....
it would mean that I'd lost the last chance I had...and...
'they' ... would have won.
It took TIME
for me to re-establish myself as a sober person.
It took TIME for
people to understand that I am committed to a sober life.
It took TIME
for me to gain a resource circle of sober firends to rely on.
I *still* don't make enough $$$ to make my bills.
But I've established that as a sober person
I will KEEP ON TRYING
and people let things slide for me.
Not because I'm so special in not drinking ..
and certainly no one OWES me anything ...
but I've learned that people respond to honesty.
And yes there's many times I pray to what for all the world feels
like a silent empty sky....I'd be a liar if I said I just threw it all in God's lap.
But I DO let Spirit guide me.
And it takes TIME to estabvlish a trust with our inner guidance.
And if you're using inner guidance ...
and nothing is working -
then that's NOT the guidance we're talking about listening to.
Try another way.
Being sober is no ticket to anything
other than one more chance.
I hope that makes sense.