Welcome Jenny.
Blessings come in many disguises...this may be yours. You hurt no one but yourself. That is your first blessing. You had good people at the hospital who took care of you, that's blessing #2. You have found this site, that's 3.
Most importantly, you have looked into and reflected within yourself and want to change and are dedicated to it...blessing #4.
Sometimes bad things happening in reality are the best thing that could have ever happened.
My heart, will and strength are with you.