I had to go to detox, I was at a point in my life where drugs where my husband, my best friend, my husband and the only thing I cared about. They had taken over my life! I learned a lot in detox, I was safe, I escaped the drugs for a little bit.
I would say you need to go to a doctor and admit your problem, there are medicines now that help us, you might think about rehab. Rehab isn't as scary as you might think and you learn so much about the addiction and yourself. It starts when you are really ready, you are so fed up you can't live that way anymore and it sounds you are on the right path.
This site is family for me, they love me when I don't love myself. They have helped to keep me clean because there is always someone here. Take the next step and go to a doctor. I thought my doctor/drugdealer was going to judge me, think of me as just another addict but he showed me love and concern, gave me detox medicine once I was out of detox (because I was still detoxing when I came home). You can do this, we can't do it for you. You have to take the next step!!
WELCOME TO THE FAMILY!