Originally Posted by
ncgirl 
He had left me a voicemail asking me to come over to pick him up yesterday between 5 and 6 and we could "talk" and get pizza. I plan not to go. I am on my way to my Alanon meeting when he calls. And I pick up the phone. "I guess you are not coming over". Me: "yes, what would be the point?". He then tells me that he and his ex wife and her husband and their kids are all going to move to the States (we do not live on the mainland). THIS is my hook and throws me and I begin to cry. This means that there is no way he and I can ever work this out because he will be hours away by plane. My hope, gone.
I was always such a sucker for that approach, the ex used it on me so many times, and it worked! We both have abandonment issues-the matching illnesses thing. All I can suggest is recognize that that is a trigger, and think it through the next time. BTW, she never did get back with her ex, and she never did move away.
Turns out I'm the one moving far away!