I thank y'all for your replies.
Over the last 24 hours, I've been sitting back and thinking about how that all would have turned out differently if I had been drinking--and it was actually the night before when I started getting to thinking about it, unrelated to all this (I think?). And I wouldn't have been able to keep as calm under fire as I did, I probably would have left the meeting as soon as I realized the cards were stacked against me... which might have been my roommates' weapon. I only say "might have" because sometimes I wonder if they know how to play this game...
And today I went in and talk to the dept head, and he said he's not surprised I'm facing a tough time in the dorms--he said I think differently than many of my classmates, especially the underclassmen, and he mentioned a few things to assure me that he understood. It was like finding SR all over again... living in a strange situation that you figure nobody'd ever understand you, and then finding out there are others like you.
If I had been drinking, it's unlikely he would have talked to me the same way, and unlikely I would have been able to make as coherent an argument. I was good at arguing when I was drinking, but more in a classroom setting, where the topic constantly changed. One on one, any gaps in logic are more likely to come out.
So yeah, I guess it's better that I didn't drink.
And, y'all, I got my happiness back today! Don't know why, just happened--maybe that's my version of what you got, B. There may be no actual solution to my situation, so I suppose God's gonna give me as much strength as possible to get through it...
Life is too surreal to merit my full attention--I can't fight a shifting enemy with no logic--so I decided to buy an ice cream sandwich. I was already happy, but that locked it in.
Take care y'all, and I appreciate y'all's patience with me,
TB