Sound pretty simple to me. You want to be able to drink booze but not act like a total tw*t who has no control over the amount he drinks and his actions in which he will not be able to rember the following morning.
It don't work like that mate. You canny have it both ways. How do I know? because I was the same. I wanted to be able to drink and take drugs but i didn't want all of the Sh*t thats comes with it. I used to be able to laugh about all the drunken antics and drugged up mayhem but then it began to wear thin on people and on me and I became embarrassed and ashamed of myself.
I learned to finally surrender and get off the crazy train and quit drinking totally. there is no care-free, chiiled out drinking with me. That simply doesn't exist for me beacuase i am an alcoholic.