miami
I've thought a bunch about your threads and posts. I have had some confusion about where you are coming from, to be honest.
I think if you want to take a 12 step approach to your recovery, it's time to get yourself into a good 2nd and 3rd step experience. How do you do that? Have you posted in the 12 step forums for alcohol and/or substance abuse? Realizing your powerless is the first step, so... if you are powerless, where do you get the power you need to recover? The answer is in there, in the steps, if you are interested/willing.
Let's get you organized a little...
Where are you with the 2nd step?
Mark