I am alone, don't have a sponsor, my husband says "oh Ashlee now don't feel like this, why are you saying you want a pill today". He isn't an addict he don't get it. Don't we all have those days where you wanna just say F it and go get high as a kite?
I'm gonna copy Scott and also say no, I don't have those days either.
From what you've shared it sounds like you're working on absitnence (white knuckling), but not at all on recovering.
I hope you find what works better for you.. grab on to whatever you can with both hands, and just let yourself WORK towards a goal of recovery. It had to be my life's goal.. a complete life change.