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Old 11-09-2009, 04:26 AM
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gonezo77
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 15
emotional anhedonia

Although it is my first post on this site, I have been a chronic "lurker" for several weeks after having started my efforts towards alcohol abstinence. My story is long and tedious, but, in short, I am a high-functioning alcoholic. My central issue at this point is that for the past 10 years (I'm only 27), I have been essentially absent of an emotional affect. This period of time is in direct correlation to a point in my life where I was a chronic binge drinker (the Thursday, Friday, Saturday night college drinking lifestyle). Essentially, I would drink until blackout three nights a week and, from what I now understand, go through withdrawal the rest of the week. I also experienced deep anxiety, paranoia, and fatigue during this period of time (starting with the point where I went off to college and started drinking heavily).

After going through several days of moderate withdrawal, I am currently 14 days sober. I am attending AA meetings on a regular basis. I understand the concept of post-acute withdrawal syndrome. I am ready for the fog to lift and to start feeling again. I have not become involved in a romantic relationship for the past 8 years, as, quite honestly, I know I am not feeling the emotion of "love" the same as any potential partner. Although I won't go into any detail, the sexual urge just is not there as well.

My hope is that someone will have a similar experience and will be able to tell me this "emotional fog" clears in time with sobriety. To me, the ups and downs of emotions are life.....and trust me, I am ready to start living again.
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