I can relate to your comment that going to meetings is supposed to make you feel better, but I go for different reasons now. I go now because I have faith that the 12 steps will help me learn to live my life better, not to help me feel better. My problem is I don't know how to live my life sober. Crack, booze, reefer, dope, it's all the same in my mind, some may disagree, but the problem I have is addiction, and the 12 steps are geared to help me overcome my addiction, so that's why I go to meetings, to learn how others use the 12 steps to change thier lives. Most of them seem happier than I am, so I'll keep going. Maybe it would help you to go and focus on the steps, and not so much on how you feel. It's worth a try.