Hey NEO, I also had no big consequences from my drinking/using. I kept a good job, good friends, and most people I wanted support from had to be convinced that I had any kind of problem. I enjoyed the challenge of smoking pot every morning before work and having a secret. I was very functional, but I wasn't really participating in life. Today, I am enjoying emotions and being present in my life rather than just getting by. I kept up all the outside appearances to prove that I didn't have a problem, but it was basically impossible to enjoy the facade.
For me it is about doing what I enjoy and actually enjoying it now that I am sober. Like you said, connecting with music sober can probably be deeper than when you were messed up. I understand the habit of my head telling me how I would think clearer or have a more intense experience if I were high. I don't believe it anymore though because I am more connected to my life/soul sober than I ever was drunk/high.
Take care.