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Old 11-08-2009, 04:59 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
dojoro
"I think I can. I think I can"
 
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 93
The is so great Jesse. I have only gone to 3 meetings (2 yesterday) but I always leave feeling so hopeful...almost enlightened. I agree this forum has also helped tremendously especially at night when I have cravings. I haven't picked up that very heavy phone yet but one day I will. There is a regular AA number...not sure what it is, your phone book should have it. You can call that anytime...now that has to be easier then going to a meeting...just a phone call...Call and say "hey, It is hard right now." I would imagine they take it from there. I find my self in the parking lot after every meeting for 45 minutes surronded by other alcoholics who desperately want to help, to guide me, to prevent me from ending up in a place so many of them have. Last night I heard a lot of stories about jail, and rehab, and dwi's, things I can't see for myself, but I know now this is a progressive disease and I will get worse and who knows what destruction I will cause before I die.

I know alot about the disease alcoholism now, way more then last week and two weeks ago I knew nothing. I had the same stigma that I think alot of society does. Now that I know that, the stigma baffles me but that is a post within itself. I feel like I haved learned so much...have grown so much but come 5 o'clock it is still painfully hard. I still think about drinking everyday, allday. I still have times I am not sure this is me. I still wonder if I should challenge myself (just have one drink) and walk away. I know I would fail miserably but I'd get to drink and have a valid excuse in my mind. I am getting better at fighting and i am starting to admit I am an alcoholic and really believing it. I hope you read the big book. there are other books out there too. If you like to read fill the time in between work reading and learning about this disease so many others are fighting with too.

Have a good strong day!

Jo
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