It's the fear of being different and having a problem that some see as a moral affliction that kept me drunk for years. Some people think it's a matter of will power, and that if we need to stop drinking, we should just stop, who needs meetings, who needs a program, just be a real man or woman and stop doing it, lol. It doesn't work that way for us and it's ok, it's nothing to be ashamed of, shame kept me drunk too for a long time. We think we need to always be in control, that we need to handle our problems by ourselves and it shows weakness to ask for help, but consider a guy who's gone skiing, hit a tree and broke his leg. Others on the slope will rush right over to help because he's injured himself, and so have we. We've hit a tree so to speak with alcohol and now we're busted up and need help. No shame for hitting a tree, it happens. Now we need treatment, set the leg, let it heal, rehabilitate the muscles and learn to walk again, no shame there, and with alcohol, it's just a recovery process from an addiction we developed. I know some people can't handle it, because when we show our weaknesses, they fear that they may also develop a weakness and that's not acceptable, we must always be strong, we must always be in control, and that's just a bunch of hogwash. No one is always in control, whether they drink or not, regardless of who they are or think they are. We're all human, and that involves all of the traits of being human; success, failure, disease, trial, trauma, and trees on ski slopes. It's just life and there is no shame in living it. Shame is a tool others try to use to control us and it works if we take it in and believe it. It stands in the way of true healing.