What others have said. I agree wholeheartedly, especially with Ginger. Seek help, because being prone to outbursts like this is not how I would want to live, especially given how badly you feel about it afterwards. How long is it going to be before you get even worse and hurt yourself or someone else?
And yes, this is elder abuse. Your mother deserves better and so do you. I think living separately from her would be a good idea while you work on yourself. Good luck to both of you.