I am so sorry for your loss and your pain.
I know this is so hard for you right now, but the pain you are drinking away will wait for you to get sober, you will need to deal with losing your Father. What is actually happening by drinking, is you are postponing the inevitable and adding to the pain you will need to deal with. I know it is hard, but please think about not drinking through this, it is a pain you need to feel right now, cry your eyes out if you have to, call everyone you know, come here,do anything you need to do, but get it out of your system, don't push it farther down with Alcohol.
Cathy