thirtybubba

I can't take this no more. And now my mind's back to thinking that drinking isn't a solution, but at least I don't have to take this if I'm drinking--I can ignore it all...

I know there'll be a price to pay, but some other day I won't have to come home to this... unfortunately it's starting to look like this will be the whole semester/possibly the whole year.

Here I am on bedrest with the second flu in a month, and as soon as my Evil Roommate is alone, she starts knocking on my door... and when I wearily ask what she wants, I am inunduated with verbal slights and accusations of not being willing to listen to her--she wants me to clean up after all of them, and she is not particularly clean in her day-to-day. Just thinks that it's okay to leave the house a mess all week, and then do a deep cleaning when she gets the urge. And I'm supposed to go along with this... after all I'm doing "nothing" (usually either here or studying...imagine that).

It's her issue, sure. But she's making it mine. I can't be in here without my headphones on... it's not that I believe anything she says, it's just that I'm tired of hearing it and don't feel obligated to listen. She's not the boss...

Now I should go live somewhere else, because what right do I have to have the flu?

So I go report it, and they tell me I can't talk to nobody, just file a report. They'll read it and get back to me--they've said this before, repeatedly. It's establishing a pattern, they say... If I had money, I'd leave and rent an apartment--anywhere would be better than here. But I don't have money.

I don't know what to do. I am trapped, and, worse, it's killing me to either recover--keep wanting to drink 'cause it's easy to ignore what's going on in my life that way, and *this* is what's going on in my life--or to get any schoolwork done properly. I am always stressed, waiting for her to snap at me, again... she knocks on the door till the song goes down and I hear her.

I can't take this no more. I don't know what to do.

Take care y'all, thanks for putting up with me,
-TB, shaking and crying