welcome to this board. it has been a godsend for me. i now have 56 days under my belt and tho' everything is not perfect life is so much better. i couldn't have done it without these fine folks. i don't post often but i read daily.
i know when you're starting out 56 sounds like a lot of days but it's nothing compared to some in sobriety. the first week was horrible but with the help of these folks and taking it one day at a time i'm in a much, much better place.
you think you've basically wasted a decade but trust me when i say, you are sooooo young to already be wanting to get your life together. your posts are very cogent and your intelligence and self-awareness shines through them. if i, a LOVER of vodka can do this you can too. make that former lover... the thought of the burn revolts me now but it was something i was willing to put up with. not to reach a buzz. i would go from not really buzzing to passed out and waking up on the sofa at 2 am to drag myself to bed for a 5:30 alarm for work.
i am so thankful those kids are okay. hopefully this incident will wake one of them up to the path that lays before them with alcohol abuse. i'm glad you were there in case they needed you.
keep coming back here no matter what approach you decide to use. just remember, you are still very young and have a whole wonderful life ahead of you where you truly can accomplish anything. it'll just be a lot easier to accomplish it without the poison.