You just have my sympathies, and best wishes. I remember waking up from my last black out and finding out what I had done. I remember the disbelief and horror that I could and had done things totally against my best judgment, things I would have bet you 12 hours earlier I would never do.
I am just over 10 months sober. Some days, the only thing that keeps me sober is the fear of having my will taken away. I like to tell people I don't drink because I don't want to eat dog poop on video camera for five dollars, because who knows right?