I went to 3 meetings today tb. I don't buy into AA whole heartedly, there are things that don't sit well with me. I tried one meeting out of curiosity though, and all of the people there were hugging and kissing and so pleased to see each other.
My room mate is out at a bar tonight getting sh!t faced. My other buddies in this town are gathered around a vaporizer, smoking their brains out. I've decided, I need some new friends.
So, most of the time I go to a meeting (been to maybe 1/2 dozen so far), I come in right when it starts and leave before the circle . . .thing. And I make no friends. Today I hung out, introduced myself, told people I wanted a sponsor, even got called upon to share (all of that kind of sucked, but I'm alive and well).
I still didn't get a sponsor, or get invited over for pigs in a blanket and twister. But I have finally seen something "I want that they have". I think I want to be in that clique. I hope I don't end up as clonishly happy as some seem, but I reckon clonishly happy might be better than sitting home alone some nights.
So I will keep going back. I'll suck up to people, make friends, volunteer to stay late and put away freakin chairs. Worst case scenario, I end up brain washed and silly happy (I know, you steppers like a good washing of the brain! I prefer to keep a little of the dirt=) But if silly happy is worst case, that's not so bad. Maybe I will never make a friend there, I still haven't lost anything (that seems unlikely given the atmosphere).
Maybe this time next year I will have my costume all picked out for a sober halloween party=)
p.s., in case you missed my tongue in cheek attempt at humor, I actually think AA is a pretty grand program, and I credit it with saving thousands of lives. I was mostly poking fun at the uniqueness of my own snowflake