Arcane

I am glad I found this site. I am so lost I don't have a lot of support. I am addicted to vicodin. This all started 2 years or so ago. My boyfriend of 9 years has been taking vicodin for atleast 5 years and for the first couple years I didnt even notice them to be a problem or even want them. I think I started taking them because they seem easier than drinking. I also take them before I go to something that may stress me out they make me feel subdued and laid back when I am normally a bit high strung. So now we both take them on a regular basis and I noticed how it has changed us. We are shut ins now and our family can't get a hold of us most the time. I really want to quit because I don't want to be controlled by this forever, and it is bad for my body, but everytime I try to quit I don't get past the first full day because the restlessness drives me crazy. It is also really hard because my boyfriend takes them too and although he wants to quit, his attitude about it is....someday... I have been reading several helpful posts on here and will be quitting tomorrow again and this time I will use some of the methods I read about to help me get through the W/D. I worry this will never go away until I take myself out of the situation all together. It's really hard being around someone that has a bottle just available whenever you want. I am at the point where I like myself much better on vicodin and off I don't feel alive. Thanks for the help. Sorry for such a long post, I just needed to say this.