I dunno if I can tell you anything I haven't said before...all I can do is share my journey Bubba.
Drinking never solved anything for me TB - if I was really lucky, I got my pathetic wish and it made me forget stuff for a little while, but even that stopped happening for me.
Being lonely is really hard - that's what got me started on 'serious' drinking...but the kicker is? The more I drank the less I was the kind of person anyone would want to be around...and that's not just when I was drunk...there's something about an alcoholic between drinks that's just...wrong I think. We need to address that wrongness in order to move forward.
I'm sorry that noone answered your calls. That seems to happen to you a lot - to me thats not your fault, but it still sucks you have to wear it.
But...you're not alone...
This place proves it, time and again.
It may not help you feel better - I get that - I've been there, but lemme tell ya...the way forward to dealing with all the little issues in your life is to *deal* with them...
and the first step there is to not run to the bottle.
It's hard, but the rewards are worth it - and you deserve the rewards, Bubba.
D