Better before attempting recovery?
I feel awful.
Did you ever relapse, (or whatever you choose to call it) then feel worse than before you drank?
I feel worse now that I drank again, after a couple days without drinking, than I did before I drank. I didn't drink alot tonight, and actually came home much earlier than usual, but still feel sick inside simply because I drank again.
When I drank all the time and didn't really want to recover, I just took the blows from my alcoholism and kept on going. Now that I know there is a better way, I keep stumbling and feeling like a fool each time I stumble, which is much different from when I didn't care so much about my drinking. Every time I drink now, regardless of the amount I consume, I feel like total crap. I've been on this website since February, 2009 and I'm wondering if I've learned anything at all, or if I'm just p!ssing in the wind. I hate drinking now, but I still seem to get a few days together without a drink, only to drink again. I don't know why, yet I keep donig the same things over and over again. I am crazy because of this.
I wish someone could tell me what the hell my problem is.