Yes, there is a sticky here that somewhere, I think, about that very subject.
I treat it as a choice, jme, when I was drinking I had no choices. Why some people-myself included- 'get it' and some people don't still baffles me, even when I'm referring to myself.
Remembering myself, not sure exactly how I dealt with guilt when I was drinking beyond continuing to drink and other unhealthy behaviors to distract myself from the knowledge that I was a selfish a$$hole.
Thing is, rather than feel the guilt the A will reflect it back upon us, I've been on both ends on quite a few occasions and when I wasn't real careful, I started to 'buy' into it, on the receiving end that is.
I think an important tool is, as TRD writes, 'remember the facts'.