His actions will have an effect on you. Your sobriety is your own. This is where support groups come in big time. Family, friends, people close to me are very helpful. Yet they can't truly understand me like another alcoholic who is also in sobriety. In situations like this I find the help of a sponsor invaluable. An outside person, a stranger- if you will, is ironically a very safe place for support in these situations. It's uncomfortable to initiate. I had so much difficulty asking someone I didn't know for help. But when my wife decides to go have her drinking time I can call my sponsor up and say, "This sucks, not fair, she can drink I can't." And after talking for 10 mins or so, the situation loses its power.
Another strong point is that I can't judge if someone else is an alcoholic, addict. I can only say that for myself. It is fair, though, for me to express concern over the habits of those I love.
Early in recovery, I simply can't take their problems on too. I have to take care of myself first.
Leading by example has done wonders on those around me.