Hi dojoro
I haven't been around here very long, only three days off the wine and three days of AA meetings. I understand in some small way what you are thinking as I have been having the same thoughts myself. But in some ways, the realisation that I think that I can't live without alcohol only convinces me more that I need to give it up. Who wants to be a slave over buying wine all the time? I didn't drink *that* much, but when I did it was for boredom, covering up the loneliness that you can feel even in a room of friends. There will always be someone who you can compare yourself to who is worse off than you. Does not mean that you don't have a problem. (not that I am judging, just something I am thinking myself)
And as far as going to a meeting in concerned, I highly recommended it. The people that I saw have been wonderful for the most part. And remember, they are all there for the same reason, a desire not to drink. So even if you do see someone you know, you will be in the same boat as them. Go to a closed meeting if that would make you feel better - no friends or spouses allowed there, only people that need the help and want to help.
Just my two cents for what it's worth on day three.