Thanks all for the encouraging words. I feel like now is the time to get sober before my kids get any older and can actually recognize the difference in my personality. They are 5 and 2 but the 5 year old is really catching on lately. And I know my husband is fed up with it as well. It's a hard situation as he is a chronic pot smoker. He feels like he's married to "two different people" but so do I. unfortunately he's not ever going to stop and I think maybe I've used this as an excuse to keep up my addiction..
anyway, thanks for letting me spill out my thoughts!