Kjell, stay in the day, as already pointed out in reality that is all we have control over!
Keep taking the steps............ be patient, I know not easy to do when things are really digging at one, but take it a day at a time, keep doing the work needed, keep working to progress, even if it is only a baby step, it is progress.
It will come, those awakenings are awesome and when you least expect them sometimes.
Keep in mind that good things take time and work, I can promise you that you keep going and things are going to get better then you ever dreamed, not materially, but being free of the bonds of alcoholism and self are just awesome feelings.