I stopped the meds I had been on a couple of months ago, it seems sometimes that I have been taking anti depressants my whole life.
Although I wouldn't say I was depressed while taking them I was almost completely emotionally numb, this made my life managable but miserable.
I can remember in the past when I started taking a different type of anti depressants I would get an almost immediate lift which eventually disappeared leading me to switch tablets again.
I don't know if this qualifies as abusing the drugs but it seems to me that if I could become immune to the effects of one of them after a while, maybe I could become resistant to the whole family of SSRI's over time.
Of course this is all conjecture (and all my switching etc was done under the care of a doctor) but at the moment, having been off them for a while, I feel that I have done the right thing by trying this.
I get some very down days and some anxiety but I feel more alive than I have for years, being sober of course helps.
I want to give my brain chemistry some time to settle down before I decide whether I need to go back on meds again (I'm not daft
if I start suffering I will try again) all I can hope is that being sober will enable me to work on any issues that might arise.