51anna you said it perfectly. It's not really living, just maintaining really. So far getting back into martial arts, meditation and some soul searching had helped to shift my train of thoughts.
Some of the books from Eckhart Tolle have had a really good affect. I would really recommend The Power of Now to everyone. Cause part of addictions is getting away from the present moment, and part of sobriety is being as you are, in the present moment.