keithj

jcolon,

I came crawling into AA as a staunch, devout atheist. I believed that the idea of a higher power was a crutch for weak-minded people.

But, I had also come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as I had been living it, as the book says. I knew that I was doomed to repeat my cycle of drinking, remorse, drinking. So I said, 'What if?' Am I willing to believe in something? Am I willing to take the action to find out?

I became willing to try. I got on my knees with a sponsor and said the 3rd Step prayer. I felt absolutely nothing except silly. But I launched into an inventory, continuing to ask for help from some higher power, even though I didn't believe. I remained willing to believe.

Somewhere in the process of the rest of the Steps, I slowly found that power working in my life. I've come to rely on it. Willingness became belief became faith.

I found that my views were respected and encouraged. My sponsor knew enough to let me find my own answers. He let me find the Great Reality deep within myself. And I did find it by the process of taking the rest of the Steps. That is exactly what the Big Book is about. It's main object is to enable you to tap into some higher power, as long as you are willing.

If you are willing, give yourself over to some unknown power and take the Steps. You will come to understand whatever it is you will come to understand.