It seems that you recognize the problem, but have disqualified yourself from getting the support you need based on your thinking. Why not keep an open mind and get some real evidence before you drink yourself insane? Go in the doors of a few A.A. meetings, sit down, and just listen. You may find those people who are already doing something different about their alcoholism and living a new way of life. Why not also pick up some literature while you are there so you can make an informed choice about the A.A. program of recovery? Some of it is free for the taking.