DesertEyes

Hello there daydream, and pleased to "meet" you.

The ACA groups got started in the early 80's. Back then there was a lot of research being done into alcoholism, and therefore funding for research into families and children was readily available. A therapist by the name of Claudia Black wrapped up all the research into one excellent book ( "It will never happen to me" ) and overnight there were ACA groups springing up everywhere.

Those were exciting times.

Once there was awareness of the effects alcoholism had on children research spread out in all directions. We very quickly realized that it wasn't the _alcohol_ that caused the damage. It was the abuse. The term "toxic family" was created to try and cover all the different types of crazy families.

Except that by then ACA had become a worldwide movement. It was simply too late, and too expensive to try and change the name. In fact, it's the same problem that al-anon and Overeaters Anonymous struggled with when they had explosive growth; the name didn't keep up with the research.

In the larger cities you will find ACA groups that specialize on just physical abuse, or just sexual abuse, etc. In the rest of the world we just all hang out together because it's the _pain_ inside that makes us all the same. Not the details of our parents insanity.

My father and mother were alcholics. My father was physically abusive but my mother was not. My grandfather never drank, but he was a pedophile. I find that the 12 steps of ACA work just fine for me, because they help me deal with the "toxic environment" regardles of which adult had which insanity.

By the way. _Yes_, it was that bad. No you are not crazy. No you did not drive them to do it. I can answer those cuz it's the same answers that I had to work out for me.

Stick around awhile, look for the similarities in our _emotions_, not in the details of our parents. Recovery is not about _them_, it's about _us_ and how _we_ overcome the damage and brainwashing that was forced upon us.

Mike