I am an atheist / agnostic, depending on which day it is. I am on day 10. I was in rehab several years ago at which time they made you attend AA every day. I was totally turned off by the holier than thou types that attended, particularly when we had non-rehab people there. A lot of the 12 steps have real value but the higher power thing was just too much for me. I haven't attended AA since. I have found this site to be a real benefit. There are ALL types of people that post here, sharing their experiences. For me, it has kept the memory of the misery of my drinking days fresh. I read at least once or twice a day and lately have been posting as often. One mantra that I try to remember is "one day at a time." I can avoid alcohol for just today. I won't worry about tomorrow or the rest of my life -- just today. If I start to feel sorry for myself that I can never drink again, I try to wipe that thought away. Maybe I will be able to one of these days. But not today. I hope you stay around. I would love to hear more from you and how you are doing.