Hi Malcolms
I was where you are for years.
It's not about doing it for spouses or kids, or anyone else...we have to believe we're worth the effort.
Even when I quit it was because I had to or die, not because I believed I was worth it.
Don't end up down that end of the road like me.
I learned I wasn't rotten, or hopeless, or whatever - I was addicted.
Think carefully about what you're doing and where you'll end up.
Reach out - whether it's to yr friends or to strangers in a recovery programme...make some changes, malcolms.
D