Just a thought. While you were the drunk coming home all the time wasted, puking, laying in bed sick all day, she made the choice to stay...she was your enabler. Now it's your choice...do you want to be an enabler back? You can make excuses for her, and put your blinders on...but is that the way you want to live? I've lived both lives...that of the user, and that of the enabler. I decided to keep myself away from it when I got clean, and hubby knew that if there was any smell of alcohol or signs of drug use, he was not welcome to come home. I stopped making excuses for him, and if people asked, I'd tell them...man, that really pissed him off, so I told him if he didn't like it, then he should stop. He ended up dying from what I believe was too many years of abuse to his body that didn't stop til the day he died. I chose to live, and the only way I could do that was to stop the insanity...IMHO.