i have found that i no longer need or want to defend myself against what i perceive to be happening around me. This is one of the direct results of living a new way of life using the 12 Steps & 12 Traditions. i used to believe that my ego could insulate me from God and society. i had an army of character defects ready to go to war as soon as it got the order from the "joint chiefs of staff" in my head. And when all else failed, i could always resort to fear, anger, and resentments as a method to cope with the world around me. Thank God i don't live that kind of life anymore!!
i hope and pray you will find your way in how to stay clean & sober each day.