Welcome Steve - Your story is mine. Same 3 kids. Same short temper. Same cravings. Same anger at myself for not being able to "fix it."
Finally, I just gave up. I decided that I couldn't do it myself and that I had no ability to control my drinking. I reached out to others (just like you are doing), started going to AA, and began working on the problems I was having in life (that were being covered up by my drinking).
I'm 9+ months sober now and so it is possible. I'm not going to drink today and that is all I have to worry about. It isn't easy, but you have such a great family -- it only goes down from here.
Welcome to SR!