Hi and welcome to SR,
I have no answers for you only a question:
How Important Is It?
Al-Anon has taught me that I need to ask myself that question a lot. If your life style needs or wants alcohol in it then obliviously you are making the choice between the two.
I never (hardly ever any more) try to get into another's head any more as to "why" they say and do the things they do. If he is an A, and you are not, you will probably never understand his thinking process anyway.
Besides that it takes a h++l of a lot of energy on my part to keep up with someone who suffers from the family disease of alcoholism.