I really hate going into why I dont go to meetings. We all see how fast the threads get out of control. ie: The one that just got locked.
Honestly. I have come out of that particular meeting craving more than I did before I went. Dont know why. Its not their fault. But even just thinking and being aware of it is making it worse. I dont know why.
So the best thing for me to do is distract myself any way possible. Even sticking around here may not be a good idea. Just the whole talking and thinking about addiciton and recovery can make it worse sometimes. You know what I mean.
I will be ok. That I have no doubt. But I dont like having that tiny feeling. Not at all. I dont care if I was locked in a cage on the moon. I dont like it.
I will be fine. ....